![]() he hated and mistrusted any men I was close to. he loved that I was bisexual and could ogle girls with me. his writing was dreadful and I learnt to lie. ![]() ![]() he talked about how proud he was to be of Scottish ancestry and went on about claymores and bastard swords and how he was going to write the next Game of Thrones. the tablecloth in his mum's kitchen that was blue and yellow vinyl and I stared at it and dug my nails into my arms while he yelled and wanted them to break the skin so my apologies would leave a mark. wrestling a knife off a 6'3" friend who'd had a psychotic break in the night. waiting at the bus stop at 4am because he'd stormed out and I was scared to go back and the first bus to my parent's house didn't leave until 6. the dog which went nuts and ran around constantly until I sat down with her, when she'd immediately settle on my lap as we fed off each other's kindness. the Jethro Tull poster on the wall in his mum's house.
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